Regret. Remorse. Recovery. We have all been there. Things people say ...the next day.
"Oh my god. I just woke up with a 70 year old man. We spent 30 min looking for my pants and phone. In the middle of our hunt he screams, hold on, I have diarrhea!"
" i think you're one of those guys who likes to have sex with old or dead people
which is fine. i'm just letting you know that i've figured you out."
which is fine. i'm just letting you know that i've figured you out."
"We did not have sex but I did wake up with him holding my penis and asking, 'Are you Polish?'"
"We have to talk abt (sic) how this grown 41 yr old man I spent the night with can't kiss worth a damn!"
"Saw Ban Ki Mooon, Susan Rice, Prime Minister Erdogan and his wife. Oh and Amr Moussa. I also met the prime minister of Bangladesh. I did not sleep with any of them."
Girl: Did you actually just tell me that we've reached our shelf life?
Guy: well, do you wanna come back to my apt and have a glass of wine.?"
Girl: [thinking yeah, sure, why not, I'll tell him how I really feel] "In all seriousness, I like your dog, your bed, and your scooter more than you."
Guy: [crushed ego] "well, i would hope I could change that."
Girl: "I need to head on home."
Guy; "don't leave, I'll drive you on the scooter. fuck i want you. i'm a total idiot."
Girl: that's ok, really, I'll walk."
Guy: [action] pins her against the wall, in a valiant effort to seduce her.
Girl: "Wtf, who ARE you?"BAD iDEA
Non-profit dogooder hottie says to a hot young conservative lobbyist: "it was probably a bad idea to fuck the girl who works in your building and lives in your neighborhood, not call back, and deny that it was a one night stand. At least I could get that birthday cake I brought over and my VS black lace panties?"
No comments:
Post a Comment